I can’t cry, I am a MAN!
Crying is natural. It is biology after all. The human body holds power to cry. Why on earth do we counter it with the concept of right or wrong?
Tears are meant to portray feelings. Feelings of devotion, love, parting, success, failure so on and so forth. They are misconstrued about being good or bad.
Men do not cry openly because of social programming. But isn’t it being manipulative on the emotional front?
Let’s get real. When we tag girls who do not cry with the fact that they don’t have a heart, what makes us change our outlook for the male fraternity?
Besides, males have a predefined comfort zone where it’s okay to let their tears out. Ever witnessed a macho sportsman crying out of joy or regret in the field? Well, that’s quite in the open. But that’s a place where they won’t be judged!
Read on to witness some of the basic facts that go a long way in building a theory that goes beyond considering crying as an anti-masculine trait.
#1. Crying is considered to be a woman’s forte.
Don’t cry like a girl!
This one’s a default one-liner for all males, age no bar. I have heard mommies asking their boys to stop crying like their sisters.
From a very young age, boys tend to frame a predefined way to deal with their emotions. When they grow older, they come to terms with the fact that even if a woman is strong, she gets the liberty to break down at some point without being judged.
#2. Crying signifies weakness.
Physical strength is considered to be one of the basic norms; a man has to live by as long as possible. A man getting emotional loses points on the macho front. The foremost difference between a male and a female is on the physical plane. While men are pictured with abs and biceps, girls are supposed to be delicate and sweet, highlighting the difference in core strength by default. Since girls are conditioned to show their emotions, men mistake to copy their emotional trait will lessen their strength quotient.
#3. Holding back tears empowers rigidity.
Emotions are what make us all humans. Holding back your emotions, in reality, makes you a little rigid. There is a fine line between being strong and rigid. While strength is a plus, rigidity is a minus.
#4. Crying is a means of expression. It makes us more human.
If crying wasn’t a normal, biological process, then it wouldn’t exist. The presence of tear glands is, in fact, a counter-argument for this clause. The process that isn’t normal is to block crying because doing so prevents someone from experiencing a natural response and having an emotional release.
#5. Crying is misconstrued as a sign of low self-esteem.
Crying is just an involuntary, reflex resulting from specific feelings. Men are taught not to cry. Hiding emotions behind a macho wall indeed weaken one’s soul power. Crying is not about feeling embarrassed or shameful, only outdated preconceptions.
#6. Man’s ego does not permit him to cry.
Does ‘Big boys don’t cry’ and ‘Take it like a man’ sound familiar? A major difference between a male and female mind is when a female is too angry, she finally breaks up into tears while a man resorts to anger to curb his tears. A man’s ego catalyses the act of breaking down by building a wall so that no one gets to intrude his inner state.
#7. Men hide their emotions more when amidst a female crowd.
Men cry less often than women owing to social conditioning; crying doesn’t really fit in with our image of stereotypical manhood. No doubt a partial explanation of why men are more likely to hold in their tears. Men find it easier to shed the stress in front of their male counterparts than in front of the members of the opposite gender.
#8. Holding back tears is their way of making their family feel secure.
Men are at a higher risk of emotional isolation. A father, brother, husband, any male for that matter is a patron of safety. Men do not want to pass on their fears and anxiety to people around them. It is their way of justifying their self-assigned role.
#9. The Science.
Research states that men have larger tear ducts in their eyes. It is, therefore, less likely for the tears to reach up to the point of spilling over the eyelid onto the cheek, as opposed to the depth of the tear ducts of females which is shorter and shallower.
Hormones also may provide an explanation, too, including testosterone, which inhibits crying. Male prostate cancer patients, for example, tend to become more emotional when treated with medications that lower their testosterone levels.
#10. When can a man not control his tears?
I never saw my father’s wet eyes until I got married. Dads break down too. They can’t hold their feelings when they see their darling girls walking away with someone forever. College farewells, persistent fear of losing a job, the death of a loved one, fear of succumbing to a dreaded disease, retirement – the end of their first innings are times when the strongest of the male fraternity bows down.
While western culture has changed the basic stereotyped to quite an extent, Indian scenario has still a long way to go. Nevertheless, we shall soon relate to the fact that men are as emotional as women and crying is not about being weak.
Expressing your feelings openly is more masculine indeed.
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